guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
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