took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
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