it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
