am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
