omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
