I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize