Me. At least after what I've been through.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
