I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
