If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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