it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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