I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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