First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
