We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
