Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize