i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
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