So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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