there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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