i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
