You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
