just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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