I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
