I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Randomize
