How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
