Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
