Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Randomize
