cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
