You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
