I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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