Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
