Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize