i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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