WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
