I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
