remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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