Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Randomize
