My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
