Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
