we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
