sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
