I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
