it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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