I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
