So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
