At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I think your dad took our porno
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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