that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
