I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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