she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
