By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
