i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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