@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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