so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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