He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I have already put on my inside pants.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
