so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize