9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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