I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
he thought i was a dude.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
