I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
