in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
