A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
high people should be assigned attendants
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Did we literally take a cab across the street
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
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