This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
