That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
