I just pynch a tree in the face
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
