Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
